Does your marriage make you feel as though you have just been raked over a bed of hot coals? Are you currently going through a rough patch in your marriage?

If you are, is it because either you or your spouse are surviving an emotional affair and need some extra help?

Then hopefully, this article will shed some much needed light on why affairs happen, and provide you with a few tips on how you can rebuild your marriage and help it to thrive again.

I am certain that you are going through a pretty rough time, but don’t cut the rope just yet, because things can, and do, get better after the affair.

Understanding affairs and why they happen.

First of all, a physical affair – affairs of lust – are the easiest to get over. The reason this is so is because they are often just affairs that happen on the spur of the moment. They are not premeditated and there wasn’t any intention to do any harm. Woops! Before I new it I had my pants off kind of situations. A loss of control, so to speak. Such affairs are easier to get over because they do not involve love. There is no emotional connection.

Emotional affairs are a totally different kettle of fish and usually contain an element of love. But they are not always physical. Emotional affairs usually occur when either spouse finds a gap that needs to be filled. They are searching for the things that they are not getting in their marriage. It could simply be appreciation or admiration.

So to survive an emotional affair it is necessary to find ways in which to fill the gaps and plug the holes.

Fighting the symptoms is ineffectual but if you keep the symptoms alive, the core problem remains the same and will continue to be a problem in the future.

Therefore it becomes necessary to:-

A) Find a bigger bucket, continue balling and hope for the best.


B) Get the after the affair help you need to plug the holes and fill the gaps in HMAS Your Marriage to give it the best possible chance of recovery.

By the way for a quick start guide on what to do after the affair to get ball rolling back in the right direction, visit:


The questions is, how to save a marriage after an affair when you have just discovered the man you love has been unfaithful.  You most likely feel your whole world had been shattered.  Confusion, devastation, depression, and anger are common feelings to battle on a minute to minute basis.  It’s impossible to make any sound decisions about your future and the future of your marriage when you’re in such turmoil.  Before making any long-term life altering decisions, you need to be as calm and clear minded as possible. 

Here are 10 stress reducing tips to help you save a marriage after an affair.
1.  Let yourself feel your emotions.  Cry, be angry and depressed.  Express your feelings before they fester within you.  Sadness, anger, and anxiety about your future are all normal and natural feelings to have in the situation you are in.  Acknowledge your feelings. Give them a voice.  You need to do this before you can begin the healing process and decide how to save your marriage after an affair.

2.  Talk.  Talk to trusted friends, family members, your family doctor or a professional therapist.  Accept the help and support of the people who love and care about you. 
3.  Eat healthy.  I know, this is hard to do in the best of times, but right now eating a healthy diet is essential to keeping your immune system functioning and helping your mind feel balanced.  Try to reduce sugar and caffeine, which can both cause anxiety.  Drinking too much alcohol can increase depression.  Now is not the time to binge on fatty/sugary food or alcohol, and it’s also not the time for crash diets. Eat full meals and take care of yourself. 

4.  Exercise.  Regular exercise can increase endorphins and has been proven to reduce stress.  You don’t have to run a marathon, just get out there and do something physical that you enjoy.  Walk, hike, play tennis, bowl, anything to get you moving will help you feel better and more in control.

5.  Sleep.  Too little sleep is detrimental to your state of mind as well as to how well your body copes with stress.  Start a relaxing bedtime routine and go to sleep at the same time each and every night.  Read a book or take a bath.  Relaxation tapes are a great way to calm down before bed.  Keep your bedroom dark and cool and your bed comfy. 
6.  Seek help.  Books, online resources, workshops, support groups or professional therapy are all essential tools when discovering how to save a marriage after an affair.  Your chances of saving your marriage without some form of help or aid is greatly diminished, so don’t take that responsibility upon yourself. Seek out some form of advice and help.

7.  Spend time with friends and family.  Take time to do things you like with the people you love.  Go to the movies, a bookstore or antique shopping.  Make sure not to isolate yourself during this tumultuous time.  You need the love and compassion of your friends and family.

8.  Pamper yourself.  Go get the new haircut you’ve always wanted to try or purchase those sexy jeans or a new dress.  Pamper yourself with things you don’t usually take the time to do for yourself.  How about a spa day or even just a long bubble bath? Taking care of yourself and putting yourself first will help build your self-esteem and help you to realize that you ARE important and worthwhile.

9.  Develop new and old interests. Did you used to enjoy painting pictures or photography?  Have you always wanted to try yoga or horseback riding?  Now is the time to develop interests in your life that are yours and yours alone.  Do something you enjoy just for you.
10.  Have patience.  Be kind to yourself and realize that healing takes time.  Discovering how to save a marriage after an affair is possibly the hardest thing you will ever do.  But You CAN do it! The key is not ignoring your own needs.

As difficult as it may be, these 10 tips will help you save your marriage after an affair by reducing the stressful feelings and anxiety you are sure to be feeling. Taking care of your mind, body and soul is the most important thing you can do for yourself before moving on to repair and rebuild your marriage.

Keep in mind, reading articles and searching for answers is only the first step. Taking action on what you have come to learn is what will ultimately save your marriage. I hope these 10 stress reducting tips on how to save a marriage after an affair will help you begin your journey toward healing yourself and your marriage.


How to SAVE A MARRIAGE AFTER AN AFFAIR is a click away. If you really want to save your marriage and would like to take steps to find out how your marriage can survive the affair visit Don’t let an affair destroy your life. Get Your Free 7-Part Program. You have nothing to lose and your happiness and marriage to gain.


Your life and marriage are worth saving.

You can save your marriage even if there has been one or more affairs. Whether or not the marriage returns to a loving relationship is another story.

Why do you want to save the marriage after an affair? Have the spouses repented for the affair and decided that it was not the right thing to do and they know they will not let it happen again. Are the spouses strong enough in their conviction that the marriage should be saved that they will work to keep it together?

It takes a lot of work to keep any relationship together and it seems that the marriage relationship is the most difficult to maintain because the people are not actually related by blood. I guess blood is stronger than water, meaning that a blood relationship is the most difficult to break. There is some yearning in our souls to have the blood relationships even if we do not know the person and the person has not been a figure in our life. Children who are adopted have a yearning to find their birth parents and their blood family even if they love their adopted family. The blood relationship is a big draw.

In many second marriages where there have been children, the marriage fails because the draw to be with the children is much stronger than the draw to be with the new spouse — especially after the initial lust has worn off. It takes deliberate work to save these marriages. Both spouses need to put this non-blood relative, the spouse, first in the relationship and many are unwilling to do that even when the children are grown and on their own. In this and many first marriages, it is easier to just throw the marriage away and get another lover, or first get another lover and then throw the marriage away. The affair may be the human laziness of not wanting to work to keep a marriage romance alive.

To save this marriage after affairs, there are at least two ways to approach the problem. One is to bring the romance back by flirting and dating each other again. The other is to make a business arrangement that ignores the romantic side of the marriage and just keeps the couple together as partners for raising the kids or for keeping the money intact.

The decision of which way to go depends on the couple. If a loving relationship is important in the marriage, the approach would be to bring back the romance. If the finances or children of the marriage are the most important part and there is no need for the romance, the approach would be to form a business partnership where the money and/or the children are secure.

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