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If you’re one of the many people wondering how to save a marriage from divorce, there is help for you. Often, we when are in the middle of a deepening conflict with our spouse, divorce seems like the only course to take. It doesn’t have to be. Many couples who have faced a serious crisis in their relationship go on to overcome their differences and enjoy a happy, fulfilling marriage. This can be the case for you and your spouse too, as long as you understand the steps you must take now before it’s too late.

The first step you need to make if you want to learn how to save a marriage from divorce is how to control your emotions. All kinds of conflicting emotions bounce about when your marriage is in trouble. You may feel anger towards your spouse or perhaps you just feel sad all the time because of the impending feeling that divorce is on your horizon. You have to get control of all of this and put on a brave front. It’s much easier to deal with someone when they are calm, cool and collected and that’s exactly what your spouse wants you to be. Even if they are an emotional wreck, you need to stay strong. Be the voice of calmness and reason for both of you.

You must also listen very carefully to your spouse if you want to save your marriage from divorce. It’s easy to discount the things our partner says if we feel as though they are verbally attacking us and picking on us. However, there is a lot of truth buried in what they are saying. Listening and acknowledging them is crucial to rebuilding the relationship. You both need to compromise and you must learn to take criticism. You can’t know what you need to change if your partner doesn’t have the freedom to tell you what bothers them. Have an open mind and ensure they know that you value their opinion. This shows them you respect them and respect is a crucial element of any successful marriage.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. For more insight into the troubles many marriages face and steps you can take to save your relationship, visit this helpful site.

There is one thing that can truly kill a marriage and that is when you lose those “feelings” of love. Many times when couples file for divorce, their reason is “I just don’t love my spouse anymore.” So what can you do to stop that from happening? Better yet, what can you do to fix it if you already find yourself in that situation? The best thing you can do is act lovingly towards your partner. Does this sound completely crazy? If so, think of it this way: Love is not a feeling, it is an action.

In his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, Stephen Covey addresses just this thing. If you don’t feel in love or affectionate towards your spouse, then simply try being loving and affectionate towards them. You will be amazed at the results. It is a highly effective solution to:
 
1. Keeping love alive
2. Rekindling feelings you thought were gone.  

If you don’t believe me, try it for 30 days and see what happens. By try it, I mean give it your all, your 100% effort, weather you want to or not. Test the theory. You will be happy you did.  

One of the side effects you will see is not only that your own loving feelings are returning, but also you are helping to ignite the same feelings in your spouse. If you are not the one trying to end the marriage, by loving your spouse, you will be helping to pull them back around towards saving the relationship. Acting loving means many things, but here are a few great things to start with:  

1. Listen to your partner. Really, hear them, not just the words. Listening means you are not just thinking of what you are going to say in response.  

2. Regularly compliment and verbally show your appreciation to your partner. It is easy to point out the negative, so instead, focus on seeing the good, and then share it with them.  

3. Find many ways to show your partner how much you respect, admire, trust, and believe in him or her.  

You won’t be able to change your feelings by pure force of will, but you can change your behavior. You and only you are responsible for the things you do, say and the way you act. The good news is that often times, changing your behavior is all it takes to bring your feelings around. Start today.

Tina is a freelance writer and advocate for saving marriages. Too many marriages are ending in divorce. It’s not good for the family, for the partners or for society in general. It’s time to fight to save marriages, working through difficulties to come out with a stronger marriage in the end. It can be done!

Related Marriage Help Articles

A marriage records search can be very valuable when looking into someone’s past. It is often amazing how many people will lie about having ever been married and it causes major problems down the road in a relationship.  As a Private Investigator I handle cases everyday with people looking for all types of public records including divorce records, marriage records and even birth records. There are a few problems or misconceptions associated with these records that this article will discuss.

Problem #1: Where are they actually?

This is a little known fact but these types of records are physically stored in many different places. They are usually housed in the Office of Vital Statistics or a court district in any given state or city. Marriage records are usually in the town they were filed in (this could be where the couple got married OR where one of them lived at the time).  

Problem #2: Can I Please Get a Copy?

Even if you do manage to track them down they usually only provide certified copies to the bride, groom or next of kin. This can be quite challenging for you after you have done all the work to track them down. Keep in mind I have found that each office has its own set of rules; some make them up as they go along so it is always worth a shot to make a nice phone call. Always ask them to explain the procedure they use to release public records. The good news is if you do not need a certified copy there are other ways.

Solution: Marriage Records Search Online you say?

Sure, isn’t everything online these days? Ok, that is not entirely true but this route is by far the quickest and easiest when doing a marriage records search.  There are public records databases that have either indexed a lot of the public information out there or they have purchased lists of documents and where they are located. This is a great starting point and a amazing way to stop wasting time.  

Before you begin rejoicing I would like to say that there are tons of so called marriage records databases and we have tried most of them. There is only one that we consistently use. The rest have very poor databases and often give no results. Be cautions when selecting one as these records are not usually that easy to get.

Use the only marriage records search we use! Investigative Site Reviews will give you the best public records databases that will save you hours of searching the wrong sites. Mike personally uses and approves these sites.

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