Please don’t feel ashamed to get help in healing your marriage after you have discovered that your spouse was unfaithful. I hope you don’t blame yourself and let this awful selfish act define the rest of your life. I truly desire to give you a helping hand in fixing your marriage and your wounded heart.

I would not be surprised if you told me that your days and nights are consumed with images and thoughts of your spouse cheating. It’s natural but not healthy to think about the infidelity. The road to recovery is long and often difficult, but the good news is that it is possible. So what are some things that others haven done to help in healing their marriage, after infidelity?

First, there is an acknowledgement of the problems that led up to the affair and a true acceptance of what lies ahead. There is a lot of confusion in a relationship when adultery takes center stage. It’s almost like being in a serious car accident. Very often it is hard to understand what just happened. Many folks are dazed and trapped by the high and low emotional state. Once cheating has occurred you know it is a pivotal moment in your marriage. It can help with fixing your marriage if you can move past the victim and paralysis stage and get moving restoring your life.

Second, plan for a happy ending and build a roadmap to get there. You won’t give yourself the best chance to succeed if you just wing it. The reason being, your emotional state can cause you to make irrational decisions. A good exercise to undertake is to plot out the ending you want and work backwards. I have listed below a few general steps you can map out as an example.

Help In Restoring Your Marriage Steps In Reverse Order

7) Marriage is restored, trust and love has never been better and intimacy is as good as it has ever been.

6) Hearts are mended, forgiveness asked for and granted.

5) Relationship issues leading to or contributing to the affair are worked through with clarity and are resolved for good.

4) Emotional stability is achieved and emotions related to rage, anger, resentment, confusion and denial are slowly fading away.

3) The affair is ended and agreement is reached regarding how the two of you will try to move forward, taking one day at a time.

2) You think about and create a list of what you will need to happen in order for your marriage to be restored.

1) You make the decision along with your spouse to try to work things out.

There are many steps you can take to help get you past the current pain and anger that you might be experiencing. It is important, regardless of how far along in the process you are, that you know where you are and where you are heading. As hard as it might be right now, please take a little time and organize your thoughts and how you intend to make your marriage better.

One of the mistakes I see couples making is that they spend so much time worrying about the present that they don’t allow time to focus on the future. Dealing with infidelity in your marriage can overwhelm you and quickly bring your marriage to an end, if you aren’t focusing on the right things.

Would you like to restore your marriage and remove the sadness, anger and frustration you feel right now? I hope you are shaking your head yes!

Please continue to fight against those negative feelings you have and don’t lose hope. Things can get better and will if you make them. I know the future doesn’t look bright but the sun will shine again and you will love and laugh again. If you would like more insight, help in marriage and guidance dealing with your spouse’s infidelity, please visit here; Help In Marriage.

D. P. Haynes is an experienced relationship author who provides guidance and insights regarding restoring relationships and helping couples resolve marriage problems.

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